A quickie Scav marriage

Some people, such as Britney Spears, get a quickie Las Vegas marriage. Two “Army Dillo” teammates are getting a quickie Scav marriage to complete an item.  

The couple, who is not dating and never has, procured the needed legal papers and will be married by another teammate, who became a priest online.  The couple will get an annulment after the item has been judged, said first-year Anne Konig. 

“It’s crazy. It’s a complete sign of madness,” she said.  “Some Scav people go beyond what normal people would consider insane. I don’t get why people would sign legal documents for fun.”

Konig may be critical of the marriage, but she respects the couple’s team spirit.

“It’s a true display of love and affection to their dorm,” Konig said.  “Nevertheless I do love all of them.”

Before Saturday’s Scav Olympics, another “Army Dillo” team member was also looking for a wife.  According to “Army Dillo” Scav Olympics captain, first-year Goncalo Afonso Dias Madaleno, a teammate wanted to get married just to compete in the Finnish wife-carrying competition. 

“He wanted to compete so badly he told us that he would try to get a wife by Saturday,” Madaleno said. 

Not all Snell-Hitchcock residents are interested in participating in Scav.  The Tea and Recreation rooms have become refuges for people looking to get away from the ruckus.

“I would participate but I have a midterm to study for,” said first-year resident Eddie Huang. 
Konig is not crazy about Scav but has helped out with a couple items, she said.

“I went with a group of people to dance in Daley Plaza this afternoon because those kinds of items of fun,” she said.

“Ironically, we ran into one of the most anti-Scav Snell-Hitchcock residents on the Metra.  Poor guy, he can’t escape from it.”