The Audacity of Pope

Some Scav Hunt items are more obvious than others. Item 214 simply says, “22818877@N06” with no mention of points, while #140 invites you to Journey to the center of GoogleEarth (Mac Edition). [3 points].

Item # 108 is a bit more straightforward, if still daunting: “Mummify something. Properly, with documentation of each step” [15 points]. It is this task that has fourth-year Janelle Pisarik slaving awaying in the kitchen of the Max West commons, working to embalm a five-inch rat.

The rat, which Pisarik bought and disembowled, is currently sitting on a pan in the oven, buried under a healthy helping of salt. Next to it, in smaller clumps, are the creature’s intestines, liver, stomach, and lungs. As per custom, these will be embalmed separately in placed in jars for the after-life. She has interpreted the item as requiring proper Egyptian mummification, and so when the embalming is complete, she will painstakingly wrap the rat in strips of cloth.

For now, the heat will help the salt “suck up the juices,” she says. More specifically, it will dry up the corpse for proper preservation. Without the benefit of the fierce Saharan sun, an oven will have to suffice.

Even the most mundane tasks can net unforeseen treasures in scav. Ben Shapiro entered Kerstens Physics Teaching Center in search of some helium and left 30 minutes later with a Tesla coil, a cooler filled with dry ice, and item #133 (“A Nixie clock”)—but no helium.

Shapiro and a band of Palevskyites set out for KPTC at around 4:00 this afternoon hoping for a few helium tanks with which to power item #18, a parade balloon of the team’s favorite “cartoon dog.” At 150 points, it’s comparatively more important than even item #17 “Have a beer with a candidate for POTUS.” The final product “must be up to Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade standards,” according to The List, and as such Shapiro has acquired three 30-inch balloons and plans to fix a wire frame on top of the inflatable base. For the balloon’s exterior, he and his team have opted to construct a giant caricature of Snoop Dogg, thus ensuring that while the balloon may meet all requirements, it will never, ever, make an appearance at the actual Macy’s Day Parade. Read the rest of this entry »

At 4:20 A.M., approximately 80 minutes after Hillary Clinton answered her phone, one hour before the sun rises over the Point, and 28 hours since the list—The List—was first unveiled, all is quiet in the halls of Max West. The only sign of life, incidentally, exhibits few signs of life: A particularly fatigued scavvie lies face-first in the hallway, passed-out. The writing on his sweatshirt is clear for all to see: “Where fun goes to die.”

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